February 2008

Feb 1 - Strip 154.
1500 metres, medium wave.
We only remember the good stuff that came out of the 70s. But in reality, it was like half the chart was filled with stuff of the level of ‘Macarena’.
The Wombles were little furry animals who starred in a children’s puppet show. Somehow, they turned into a rock band with music by Mike Batt (who also wrote ‘Bright Eyes’ for Art Garfunkel). And to be fair, they were actually rather good. But they’re representative of the other ghastly novelty singles that clogged the charts around then.
Jonathan King was a prime supplier of these, so prolific he worked under about eighty pseudonyms. Think of any naggingly catchy song from about 1973 that you absolutely hate but can’t stop humming, and he was probably responsible for it. He's now a convicted paedophile. I don't think the two things are connected.
Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep by The Middle of The Road was an example of the kind of song people brought home with them from their package holidays, like a tropical disease. Other examples of this were Y Viva Espana, Una Paloma Blanca and The Birdies Song.

Feb 2. Strip 155.
Robin Asquith’s arse and politics
Robin Asquith’s arse appeared in so many appalling sex comedies in the 1970s that the British film industry had no option but to curl up and die. Don’t see films like ‘Confessions of a Window Cleaner’ - not even out of curiosity. I said dont!
1973 was also the point at which the Unions were really abusing their power. I’m all in favour of unions standing up for their rights and protecting their jobs and wages, but this was a time when production lines would shut down over a dispute about the kind of chocolate biscuits being provided in the canteen. They ended up destroying themselves, and now the pendulum of power has swung so far in the other direction we’re almost back in the same place. Anyway, 1973 was the year of the coal miners strike, which by the end of the year led to an energy crunch, a series of rolling blackouts and the government putting the country on a three day working week because we couldn’t afford to keep industry running for the rest of the week.
I repeat. The 70s were not a golden age.

Feb 5. Strip 157.
Plimsolls.
All black deck shoes that kids used to wear in primary (elementary) school for PE (gym). They were unbranded, came from Woolworths, and cost about 15p a pair. They must be due for a revival now, from Nike, at £70 a foot. I don’t know whether they are in any way related to the man who invented drawing lines on the sides of ships.

Feb 6. Strip 158.
Rugby.
Like American Football, only without the armour plating and ad breaks. I was forced to play this at school, in the freezing cold and rain on sodden quagmires of pitches. Subsequently I now detest the game. However, I will concede that it’s not quite as boring as Cricket, which can last five days and still not have a result at the end.

Feb 16. Strip 162.
Take that, Mr Gatso!
Yes, there are people who firebomb speed cameras. They can’t be terrorists - they belong to all the right golf clubs!

Feb 26. Strip 166.
“HI! I’M BARRY SCOTT!”.
No-one knows who BARRY SCOTT is except for the fact he has a VERY LOUD VOICE and advertises a range of cleaning products called CILLIT BANG! “BANG! AND THE DIRT IS GONE..” is his catch phrase. REMEMBER THE PENNY TEST? The stuff is very very pink - almost peptobismoid.